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Post by wallycat on Jun 7, 2019 9:50:36 GMT -5
Sorry for not checking in as frequently. My DH has been dx with advanced prostate cancer that has spread to the bone so we are dealing with a lot. Scared, angry, anxious are just some of the descriptions we are feeling. So glad the board is here to share..
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Post by PattiA on Jun 7, 2019 14:15:55 GMT -5
Wallycat, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I can't imagine what you are going through. You will both be in my thoughts.
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Post by Catbatty on Jun 7, 2019 15:46:03 GMT -5
OH WALLYCAT. Please know that you have us to talk to, vent to, cry to. Please feel able to say anything here. I suspect there will be brave times and afraid times, both. I suspect all kinds of things will come about that will strain your emotions in every direction. There is nothing you will ever say to us that we will not care about and understand. I wish we could do more... Please know that we are thinking about you and your husband daily. Sending love and great hope to both of you. HUGS
Catbatty Brenda
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applecrisp1
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Post by applecrisp1 on Jun 8, 2019 14:16:08 GMT -5
Wallycat,
I am so sorry to hear the news about your DH. Like others said, please pop onto the board whenever you want, to share, vent, or as a place to just distract even with the food side of things.
Whatever you need, works for you! Absolutely thinking of you and your DH!
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Post by wallycat on Jun 8, 2019 14:39:03 GMT -5
Thank you, ladies.
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Post by soupandstew on Jun 8, 2019 17:41:11 GMT -5
I am so sorry and do understand the crazy buffet of emotions because DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer at one time, and also with malignant melanoma. Please know that we care about you and are here to listen, offer what wisdom we can, and always embrace you with compassion.
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Post by wallycat on Jun 9, 2019 10:23:56 GMT -5
Thank you. I wish he had gone for regular doc visits but he hated doctors and simply refused routine stuff. Soupandstew, is your husband still with you? Our neighbor had prostate and melanoma and is still doing great. DH's brother had melanoma many years ago and still does well.
I know the most important thing is to also take care of myself, but that's going to hell in a handbasket at the moment.
Again, these posts are very kind. Thank you.
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Post by mcgee on Jun 9, 2019 19:11:34 GMT -5
Oh Wallycat, I'm sooo sorry to hear this. My father-in-law was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer many years ago and he went through a treatment at City of Hope hospital in Southern California. They put him in a customized "pod" for radiation treatments and he lived a good 20 years more. He died at age 95 from natural causes. Sending prayers and good karma to you and your DH. Do let us know if we can do anything.
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Post by erin elizabeth on Jun 10, 2019 13:47:22 GMT -5
Just adding my thoughts to the others, wallycat.<3
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Post by swedishcook on Jun 13, 2019 23:11:21 GMT -5
I'm so sorry wallycat! Please know that we are here for you as so many have already said. Even if you just want to post a big scream we can post some hugs back.
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traildoggie
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Post by traildoggie on Jun 14, 2019 10:01:17 GMT -5
oh my... I am so sorry to hear this. so many new treatment options... hopefully they will work for him.
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Post by soupandstew on Jun 14, 2019 10:58:05 GMT -5
Yes, DH is still with me. He to hates doctors, wouldn't go for checkups, etc. so we're just flat lucky it hadn't spread. It was a highly aggressive form and he chose a radical prostatectomy. They did not recommend any follow-up radiation or chemo. He has also had melanoma but no recurrence of that either, although they monitor that with checkups every 6 months.
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Post by wallycat on Jun 30, 2019 13:02:43 GMT -5
Soupandstew, I'm happy to hear your DH is doing well.
Thank you again ladies for your kind words and heart felt sympathy.
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Post by Catbatty on Jul 12, 2019 15:36:43 GMT -5
What brave ladies you are, Wallycat and Soupandstew. HUGS to you both!
Wallycat, how are you doing now? How is HE doing now? I know all our hearts go out to you both. (And to Soupandstew, too. It's not been an easy road and it must be scary.)
Catbatty
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Post by wallycat on Jul 12, 2019 17:39:42 GMT -5
Hi catbatty, thank you for asking. We have gone through all the scans, xrays, surgery and he had his first bone density shot on Monday. He seems to be doing OK with this shot. The pills will come next month. $11,000 month for the pills and I am terrified what insurance will or won't cover. Not sure which is scarier--the dx or worrying we'll run out of savings. Gut wrenching to think about. If he tolerates the pills, then we just watch and take it day by day. They'll probably (oh goodie) redo all the scans after he's been on the treatment for a few months. Not how I imagined his last years to be, but then, who does, right? We're trying to do some fun things and just enjoy our time together. He's not in any pain, so that has been great.
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Post by Catbatty on Jul 15, 2019 21:13:12 GMT -5
Wallycat,
I haven't been able to get your post out of my mind and have told several people about it. I just read your post to my returned from a backpack trip husband, after first telling him all about the situation and the pills...but wanted to read your words to him, also, out loud.
My husband said that he can't imagine that in America a person has to pay $11,000 for needed pills...'for some pill' is how he actually put it, but I wrote what he meant (I think). It is shocking. I also cannot believe that when you NEED comfort, you get THIS. What the hell is wrong with us?? I'm so sorry. My heart so goes out to you. You need help and hope and comfort. SOMEBODY should clarify for you...at your insurance or at your doctor. Somebody needs to set your mind at ease over, at least, the financial part of all this. And my guess is that this is no great time for YOU to be reaching out to THEM. They should be coming to you. Do you have people up there that can help...can advocate for you? Sounds like that's what you need. Is there nobody at the hospital that you can talk to about all this? I am so sorry. This is too much for you to hold up by yourself. I hope you have somebody you can lean on.
Thinking of you, hugs
Catbatty
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Post by wallycat on Jul 16, 2019 18:23:12 GMT -5
I hope your DH had a nice backpack trip. Thanks for the empathy. We found out that the insurance company has denied the preauthorization. Yes, this little hospital offers a lot of liason help. THe onco and team have already repetitioned and the second preauth is pending review. It is indeed disheartening to think people work hard their whole life and try to save and protect their family only to be dealing with this. DH from the time we met has told me life is not fair. OY...the ugliest way to drive that home. We are hopeful. Still, even if things are covered, the initial cost of the drug will be 5,000/month ....what an ugly ride all the way around.
Thanks again for your post.
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Post by soupandstew on Jul 17, 2019 15:35:37 GMT -5
I wish I had a magic warm blanket of love and money to wrap around you both. The roller-coaster of emotion and uncertainty is tough but you sound like an amazing couple. Your love for one another will transcend anything and everything else.
The cost of drugs is literally a crime. I see a lot of political dialogue but no change.
Hike, hug, love and come back to us with an update when you can.
Pat
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Post by wallycat on Jul 18, 2019 9:54:19 GMT -5
Soupandstews, that blanket of love and money sounds so wonderful. And it figures we need to replace a 20 year old car...when it rains, it pours, of course!
DH is talking about doing our salmon fishing this year so that will be a nice respite from medical crap. I'm hopeful.
We're going in to have his PSA redone post surgery and crossing fingers it is down.
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blazedog
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Post by blazedog on Jul 30, 2019 11:02:37 GMT -5
Hi everyone - I am sorry to hear about your DH wallycat - My father had two bouts of prostate cancer and then breast cancer which necessitated a mastectomy when has 93 - and he died of "old age" at 99 - i.e. he had no specific illness - congestive heart failure and his organs just shut down gradually.
So survival is certainly possible - even probable and while the treatment is a beast the longer one stays in the race, the more research is being done in terms of treatments. And wonderful that he is up to recreational fishing.
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Post by Catbatty on Jul 30, 2019 17:06:04 GMT -5
Blazedog! I'm happy to see you have joined us. Back in the fold, as they say. LOL Long time no see! How did you find us? Welcome home! (Blazedog, for those who don't know, was a longtime member of our old Cooking Light magazine site forum...where we talked all kinds of foods, even the fattening ones, and from all sources...and other topics.) Also, great points you make for Wallycat (and others). Modern medicine techniques are moving ahead so fast. There is always hope for future discoveries and treatments. And we DO survive these days so often thanks to same.  Catbatty |
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Post by wallycat on Jul 30, 2019 17:29:25 GMT -5
Blazedog, welcome here!!
DH has metastatic prostate cancer, which means it has spread...stage iv in cancer parlance. Not sure what your dad had but every ounce of hope is appreciated and welcome.
Sometimes I wonder if science is moving fast enough...if the disease doesn't kill us, maybe the treatment becomes a quality of life issue, if we can even afford it. Sigh.
So glad to see you here and welcome, welcome, welcome!
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Post by Catbatty on Jul 30, 2019 17:49:52 GMT -5
Wallycat: I have a question if you feel like talking about it (and if not, I know you are very busy and that you might just be sick of talking about it).
Why do they do a post op PSA test if the prostate has been removed? Just curious.
As you can see, I don't know much about PSA but I know my husband's is a bit high and doc is 'watching it.' Thanks.
Catbatty
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Post by Catbatty on Jul 30, 2019 21:27:22 GMT -5
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Post by wallycat on Jul 30, 2019 22:33:57 GMT -5
Catbatty,
once the cancer has spread outside of the prostate, they don't bother removing it. The horse is out of the barn, as it were. PSA is produced by the prostate but also the tumor so it is a way to monitor how treatment is progressing.
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Post by Catbatty on Jul 31, 2019 1:22:18 GMT -5
Thanks wallycat. I didn't know that. Wish I could hug you. Catbatty, once the cancer has spread outside of the prostate, they don't bother removing it. The horse is out of the barn, as it were. PSA is produced by the prostate but also the tumor so it is a way to monitor how treatment is progressing. |
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Post by wallycat on Jul 31, 2019 9:11:21 GMT -5
You are sweet. Thank you. I'll take it!
I am just having such PTSD stuff from having had my own cancer, plus I'm a worrier....blech.
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Post by beth on Sept 5, 2019 23:33:25 GMT -5
Wallycat, I just saw this thread. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. My dad had prostrate cancer. He didn't talk about it a lot, even though I drove hime to and from his radiation treatments. His was right on the edge where Stage 3 would become stage 4. It was fully resolved with the radiation -- it sounds like the bone piece is the wild card for him and you. I hope the pills will wind up being covered and that the will do everything he needs them to. In cases I have seen, cancer seems to feed on anger and worry, so stay as cool and calm and positive as you can. I wish you both all and only the best.
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Post by wallycat on Sept 6, 2019 9:50:15 GMT -5
Thanks, Beth. So compared to what DH is going through, the new car we got (DH wanted me to have something safer than the 20 year old car we were driving incase something bad happened to him  ) --3 weeks old---some idiot scraped in the hospital parking lot and never bothered to leave contact info. ALWAYS something. Security cameras (the guy claims) could not see because of trees (really? So move the cameras!) but on the up side....DH's PSA went from "over 10,000" to yesterday's 1890. HUGE improvement. I know anything over 4 is considered scary, so it is sad that 1890 is a good thing, but good is good. He's walking with me again and driving and if you didn't know what he went through..... But the prednisone they have him on lowers his immunity and he got shingles. The worst type. Ramsay-hunt syndrome, which is on the head and neck and can cause blindness, deafness and palsy. Poor guy! As soon as he described his symptoms, I knew. I have no idea how long he waited to say something. I'd noticed a few patches of stuff but the side effects of the drugs can cause that too. Off to the doc and shingles shot #1 and Vamcyclovir for 10 days. Should be given no later than 3 days...2 days later he was getting a new patch. I put him on some supplements for viral crap and the next day, they were nearly gone. Within 2 days, all crusted up and so far, he can hear (as badly as ever, LOL) and no other side effects. Insurance did agree to cover it but at 1000/month for first 2 months, so far but may go up to 5,000/month next time), still frightening. Some days, I want to crawl under the covers and stay there. Beth, congrats to your family. Job well done, mom. Enjoy the empty nest. |
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Post by Catbatty on Sept 6, 2019 13:11:23 GMT -5
Oh Wallycat. I don't know what to say. I just want you to know that I'm reading your every word. I suspect all of us are. Hang in there, buddy (and your dear hubby, too). Hugs.
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) --3 weeks old---some idiot scraped in the hospital parking lot and never bothered to leave contact info. ALWAYS something. Security cameras (the guy claims) could not see because of trees (really? So move the cameras!) but on the up side....DH's PSA went from "over 10,000" to yesterday's 1890. HUGE improvement. I know anything over 4 is considered scary, so it is sad that 1890 is a good thing, but good is good.